D.C. Code § 32-1508

This really isn’t funny, but…

(3) In case of disability partial in character but permanent in quality, the compensation shall be 662/3% of the employee’s average weekly wages which shall be in addition to compensation for temporary total disability or temporary partial disability paid in accordance with paragraph (2) or (4) of this subsection respectively, and shall be paid to the employee, as follows:
(A) Arm lost, 312 weeks’ compensation;
(B) Leg lost, 288 weeks’ compensation;
(C) Hand lost, 244 weeks’ compensation;
(D) Foot lost, 205 weeks’ compensation;
(E) Eye lost, 160 weeks’ compensation;
(F) Thumb lost, 75 weeks’ compensation;
(G) First finger lost, 46 weeks’ compensation;
(H) Great toe lost, 38 weeks’ compensation;
(I) Second finger lost, 30 weeks’ compensation;
(J) Third finger lost, 25 weeks’ compensation;
(K) Toe other than great toe lost, 16 weeks’ compensation;
(L) Fourth finger lost, 15 weeks’ compensation;
(M) Compensation for loss of hearing of 1 ear, 52 weeks. Compensation for loss of hearing of both ears, 200 weeks, provided that the Mayor may establish a waiting period, not to exceed 6 months, during which an employee may not file a claim for loss of hearing resulting from nontraumatic causes in his occupational environment until the employee has been away from such environment for such period, and provided further, that nothing in this subparagraph shall limit an employee’s right to file a claim for temporary partial disability pursuant to paragraph (5) of this section;
(N) Compensation for loss of more than 1 phalange of a digit shall be the same as for loss of the entire digit. Compensation for loss of the 1st phalange shall be one half of the compensation for loss of the entire digit;
(O) Compensation for an arm or a leg, if amputated at or above the elbow or the knee, shall be the same as for a loss of the arm or leg; but if amputated between the elbow and the wrist or the knee and the ankle, shall be the same as for loss of a hand or foot;
(P) Compensation for loss of binocular vision or for 80% or more of the vision of an eye shall be the same as for loss of the eye;
(Q) Compensation for loss of 2 or more digits, or 1 or more phalanges of 2 or more digits, of a hand or foot, may be proportioned to the loss of use of the hand or foot occasioned thereby, but shall not exceed the compensation for loss of a hand or foot;

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